Open Letter to the Bugs in MY Bathroom:
Dear Bugs In MY Bathroom,
This is a request for your cooperation in the matter of privacy, mine.
I am aware that this house has been here for a very long time, and so it follows that you were in residence long before I ever arrived. In fact I think it is probably safe to say that you have been in residence for many hundred generations of your kind. Now I know that it is indeed an evil thing to evict residents just because the new administration wants the facilities, but I am not requesting you to leave at all, In fact I do quite enjoy your company.
I would just ask that you restrict your wild public socialising in MY bathroom to between say 11pm till 7am, and whenever I am off the premises, of course.
I am sure there are many people, extroverts and such, who truly would not mind an audience when they are on the loo or in the shower but unfortunately I am not one of them. I also worry about the number of you with an obvious death-wish; any slater, centipede, inchworm, beetle and spider who insists on sharing the shower does after all run the risk of being washed back to their Great Maker. An ignominious end for any self-respecting bug I would think. Ditto the ones who like to run around my feet when I am cleaning my teeth, because as you will have discovered by now, I do not always wear my glasses so therefore cannot see where I am stepping.
But heck, its your choice.
Of course the spiders, flies, bluebottles, butterfly, wasps and daddy-long-legs are in a much safer position up the wall but they are still included in this address.
Please consider my request for privacy in MY bathroom?
Expecting to hear from you soonest.
PS Would the very large brown spider who has taken up residence in the hand-towel please find another place to live as the hand-towel is definitely off limits and I will certainly evict you.